I came across the following piece today, from Chabad, which I thought was very appropriate to contemplate. We can only look into our own suffering and try to find meaning. When we help others, the way to cherish the other is by giving the person the time to explore, without prejudice, his/her own suffering. We can’t make meaning for others.
From my father’s sichot: It is a magnificent gift of G-d to merit an innate sense – a “feel” – for doing kindness to another, to derive deep pleasure from it. This can develop to the point that one cherishes the other more than oneself. He may find many explanations as to why he deserves his own tribulations, G-d forbid, but to do so with regard to another’s suffering – is absolutely impossible.