An online article poses the question, why some people want to be alone on Christmas. It is interesting to consider the question from a more global perspective as well. Holidays tend to be times of family and friends gatherings. The author notes that while those can be fun, many people look at a holiday as a time to unwind and relax, thus the desire to be alone. I know personally that there are times when on a day off I want nothing better than to just have time to rest. He also points to some people isolating themselves to avoid the pain or sadness of a holiday, which is often times emotions that accompany an otherwise happy time. The author does take issue with the idea of being alone for the holidays, which I disagree with. Not all holidays need to be major family affairs. Sometimes people need a break because the truth is, no matter what religion or culture one is in, a holiday is an additional day off from work, and we all know that if we spend all our time with others at gatherings, we are not energized when returning to work. Having said that, some people have no choice but to be alone on the holidays and we need to recognize those circumstances (see my previous post from after Thanksgiving on the subject).
Well, Christmas has passed and we are here, happy after all the celebration, wondering how 2012 will treat us and thinking deep inside “damn, I don’t want to go back to work…” with a sad feeling added.
Most of us were lucky and celebrated with family, friends or strangers, but I’m sure some of you didn’t. Some of you probably celebrated Christmas alone, perhaps watching TV, or that new film “New Year,” who knows…
The thing is that some people — maybe not you, but some people — like to spend Christmas alone. People change, so maybe next year you’ll want to.
Every day, every year, we spend most of our time working, studying, and taking too little time to relax and do things we like without being concerned for the consequences (which in most cases are nonexistent). People are like water balloons. You can keep filling them with water until they explode, or fill them to the top, and keep it stored that way: The balloon loses force on the elastic plastic and sometimes it breaks. In other words, people can stand a lot of bad things, and store bad feelings until a certain point, where they might explode. Of course, some people can stand more than others.
Christmas is a time to release everyday bad feelings, to relax, to be happy; it’s a healing time. To spend time with other human beings with the same euphoria, the same good feelings, makes you even happier, makes you take off a lot of importance from the bad feelings or thoughts or the year, so you become an almost-white board for the next year to write on it.
Why do some people not want that euphoria? Perhaps they have bad memories of Christmases past, or are bothered by the stress or an annoying family member. Who knows?
The thing is, each of us is unique and has our own reasons for everything. But why do some people like to spend Christmas alone? It’s because they needed a rest.
Christmas should be a time for resting, for being happy with acquaintances, but many people’s bad feelings and thoughts come from that, from family. Is it ugly or even wrong to think that family sometimes annoys us? That friends sometimes get to bother us?
These people are actually any of us, because any of us may be annoyed by our acquaintances or family. Anyone may like to spend these times alone, watching movies and thinking. People look for silent spots when wanting to think, and for loud ones when trying to forget about their own thoughts.
So sometimes we want to spend time alone, although maybe not just on Christmas. And that why it is so weird to see someone spending the holiday alone: Come on, it’s Christmas!
The World of Pastoral and Spiritual Care 